Who goes to movies anymore???

I recently went to try and go see Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. I want those 3 hours of my life back.

First, some snot-nosed punk had an attitude when I gave him a $50 dollar bill. I don't know what his problem was but he acted like he didn't want my money.

Next I grab a large Coke and maybe a box of candy. WOW! That was almost $15 bucks for that. Shit, I guess entertainment is expensive.

So, I walk into the theater careful not to drop anything or fall on my ass.
Every step was like wading through Bourbon Street, barefoot, after MardiGras. It was DISGUSTING. It's as if the ushers who work for the place said, "Fuck it." and all took turns taking a liquid-like diarrhetic shit all over the floor. Oh the smell! Oh the stickiness...


After I find a seat that's reminiscent of the Coliseum on Mount Olympus, the lights go dark and the cell phones begin. I won't tell you that crucial moment in the film where the bride is rushing to her wedding during a fantastic chase scene, Bubba starts berating his half-sister-slash-lover-slash-baby's momma for bothering him during a movie. It will spoil the plot.

All in all I think Hollywood has really gone down hill. If the "hill" can be personified as a disgusting old man and Hollywood is his submissive significant other. Whatever happened to the greats? Cecil B Demille, Lawrence Olivier, Sidney Poitier, Yul Brenner... John Travolta?

The only thing the West Coast has going for it is ownership of great movies from days past. And guess what, to their chagrin, remakes of good movies into shitty ones do not pass as great movie making.

So what have we learned? From the movie theater to Hollywood nothing good is going on. And I think maybe they are waking up to that fact. Just look at box office takes over the last 4 years. They are tanking bad!

Some of the best directing and writing can be found, in all places, TELEVISION. Shows like Threshold, Arrested Development, Family Guy, Surface and the West Wing provide more quality and entertainment in one episode than all of the Ben Affleck movies combined.

So, do the smart thing... Just stay home. We now have DVD's, Internet Porn and some pretty good TV.


Just stay away from the reality shows. They are hazardous to your health!

-The Flipster